Hole In The Wall

How to bring light in the darkness in eight simple steps:

Step one
Build the window frame. Careful measuring is crucial here!


Step two
Take a break to clean the gutters. Not really necessary for proper window placement, strictly speaking, but much appreciated.


Step three
Cut a hole in the wall. This is a VERY scary step.





Step four
Remove the cat from the new window opening. Essential.


Step five
Place the window. Enlisting the help of a good friend for the heavy lifting rather than working with your wife on this step is better for your marriage and her back. Unfortunately no wife means no photographer.


Step six
Take pride in your work.


Step seven
Mentally prepare for an eternity of grubby fingerprints on the glass.


Step eight
Enjoy the view. And the light!


Ryan did good. Real good. And did I mention he figured out how to light the oven without blowing up the barn, too? My husband rocks, people!

And never before have I enjoyed window washing this much!

Comb The Beach & Jul

This morning I watched Ryan and Royce pack up for a camping trip. They are going up to the Olympic Peninsula for a three day fishing trip in one of Washington's many national parks. It is about a three hour drive to their destination followed by a two mile hike into the rain forest to the river where they plan to set up camp.

Watching them getting ready was hilarious. They have known each other for many years; they were roommates, neighbors, and Royce was the best man at our wedding. They're like an old married couple, like Oscar and Felix, or Chip 'n' Dale. The Dutch would refer to them as Jut and Jul. (When I searched online for a translation, it rendered Comb the beach and Jul because jut is a conjugated form of the verb jutten which means beach combing. I love double dutch.)

Ryan finished packing last night so they could get an early start. When Royce arrived this morning around 8 AM ("He's always late, every time!", Ryan complained. He should know better then...), they compared outfits and backpacks, and divided the gear between the two of them. After making sure all the essentials were packed, including moist butt wipes - crucial, they both agreed, they were off. They'll be back Thursday night. If not, I'm sending in Search and Rescue.

Happiness

Sending my concerns into the universe was liberating. By voicing my fears, I let them go. And again, the universe answered me. With a little help we are going with the flow once more. It is not an official flotation device, more like those little inflatable things that go around your arms. But they work. Bills are lower than expected, we are working a few extra hours, Ryan has diversified into lawn care. It gives us hope. Once again, we feel like we just might make it here.

Yesterday was not the anticipated cold and rainy day, but an unexpected warm and sunny one. A gift from Mother Nature. Walking around the grounds with a clipboard, we made a list of every yard project we started last year but did not finish. We divided them into projects that do and do not require cash. And then we busted butt!

It is so wonderful to see it all come together. The horseshoe-shaped flowerbed between the house and the barn is finally finished. Some plants have been patiently waiting to be planted for about a year and a half. They must be so happy to finally be able to stretch their roots. I could almost hear them sigh with pleasure. Ahhhhh...

Years ago I started a list of all the things that make me happy. I borrowed the idea from a talk show host whose name escapes me right now. Yesterday I thought of my Happiness List for the first time in a long time. The first entry is the smell of freshly cut grass.

Watching my husband and my daughter mow the lawn together at the end of the day while the scent of grass tickles my nose is the epitome of happiness.

Balancing Act

In my last Wednesday night yoga class we practiced a new balancing pose. It is called a half moon pose. I did reasonably okay on my right leg, but failed miserably on my left. Or was it the other way around? I don't know what that says about me. Something insightful, I'm sure.

Earlier that day Ryan and I had a fight. A BIG fight. It came out of nowhere. Anger, fear, frustration, and resentment just poured out of both of us without any real cause. It surprised me. Because in spite of our circumstances, we are doing okay. Much better than the year before, I think. I mean that.

But it doesn't take much, evidently, to throw us off balance. We are so absorbed in our survival that we pay too little attention to romance. To doing things as a couple. We work, eat, crash. Our Friday night Date Night isn't much of a date these days. We need to redirect our energy to us. We can only make it through this if we find our balance together.

I am very angry with the universe at times. All I wanted was a family of my own. I do not understand why I have to forsake EVERYTHING else including plumbing, now that I have my wish. I am sure in a few years I will understand the point to this balancing exercise but I fail to see it right now.

I am not too blinded by our life however, to realize we are being looked after. Just after Ryan had left Wednesday morning, and I was left wondering what to do now, the phone rang. It was our Fairy Godmother whom we hadn't spoken to in months. She felt she needed to call us. Talking to her cleared the way to talk to each other.

Today all is right in our world again. Relatively speaking, of course. Still no plumbing. Tonight we will have our Date Night. Lola is spending the night at Carla's allowing us to practice balancing poses together. Or something.

Nelson Of All Trades

There were some problems with the plumbing up at the house. Water was backing up into the kitchen sink. All efforts to tackle the blockage with aggressive chemicals or more environmentally sound solutions had been unsuccessful. It was time to call a plumber. Unfortunately our preferred plumber, and the only one we could afford, was a) not available this week and b) does not deal with back-up. Can't say I blame him. For that kind of money I wouldn't want to deal with filthy smelly slush either.

No choice but to do it ourselves then. We are not slum lords, after all. Somewhat hesitantly we took on the project of replacing twenty feet of clogged piping from the kitchen sink to the intersection with the septic tank. To be fair; Ryan did the dirty work. By the time I got home to give him a hand, he had already cut out the old pipe and dealt with the black goo that dripped out of it. All that remained was fitting the new PVC pipe.

It went flawless. Even though we both have very little experience with plumbing, we managed to fix the problem in less than an hour. What's more, we fixed it without having a domestic. I am so very proud of us!

After a celebratory beer, we turned into lumberjacks. Again, Ryan had done the hard work. He had downed three trees that had been dead for some time earlier yesterday morning and cut them into pieces. While he chopped them to a size that fits the wood stove, I stacked them in the wheelbarrow. We are now burning homegrown wood.

All this time, I was making chicken tandoori in the crockpot. And thinking of ways to decorate a bird house. We are the most versatile couple I know. In addition to PR & communications and marketing & sales, we plumb, axe, cook, create, etc. Fine catches, both of us. Really, someone should offer us a job!

Happy Birthday, Love

Advice from a Tree
By Ilan Shamir

Dear Friend,

Stand tall and proud
Sink your roots deeply into the earth
Reflect the light of a greater source
Think long term
Go out on a limb
Remember your place among all living beings
Embrace with joy the changing seasons
For each yields its own abundance
The energy and birth of spring
The growth and contentment of summer
The wisdom to let go of leaves in the fall
The rest and quiet renewal of winter

Feel the wind and the sun
And delight in their presence
Look up at the moon that shines down upon you
And the mystery of the stars at night
Seek nourishment from the good things in life
Simple pleasures
Earth, fresh air, light

Be content with your natural beauty
Drink plenty of water
Let your limbs sway and dance in the breezes
Be flexible
Remember your roots

Enjoy the view!

The Bed Bug Bit

Lola was felled by a stomach bug this weekend. It started with loss of appetite - not even strawberries could entice her to eat, followed by the fun diapers, and last but certainly not least, projectile vomiting.

I had heard her cry a little bit after I had put her to bed Sunday night. But while she is by no means a fussy sleeper, it is not unusual for her to protest a little. I therefore didn't think anything of it and ignored it. After a couple of minutes she was quiet and I assumed she had gone to sleep.

Around 11 o'clock she cried again. There was something about it that made me go upstairs. She was still sleeping. But when I moved a stuffed animal to the side I could feel the cold wetness. Then the stench hit me and I turned on the light. My poor shivering baby! She must have been laying in her vomit for a few hours.

Oh, the guilt.

We had been reorganizing the upstairs earlier. It was Lola's first night in her new room. While I changed the sheets on her bed, Ryan held her. He told her about his first night in the barn when he too projectile vomited. On the wall. It was a bonding moment in a smelly sort of way.

For the first time, I felt VERY frustrated by not having warm, running water.

Truly, Madly, Deeply

Happy Valentine's Day!

Go Packers!

Breaking News! Brett Favre is retiring. Again. Let's hope this time things go a little bit more graceful.

In case you are wondering “Brett Who?”, I am talking about football. American football, of course; twenty two overdressed men and a rugby ball. With Ryan being from Wisconsin, our allegiance is to the Green Bay Packers. Wisconsinites, also known as Cheese Heads (just like the Dutch!), really love their Packers. I was THIS close to being one of those wives with a portrait of former Packers quarterback Brett Favre (it is pronounced Farve) hanging above the mantel piece, were it not for two things:

1. Brett retired last year too, and then pulled a Heintje Davids (Dutch singer who kept coming out of retirement). It turned rather ugly when the Packers didn't want him back. Very embarrassing incident in an otherwise very impressive career.

2. I no longer have a mantel piece.

Brett was relocated to the New York Jets in real life and his Packers portrait to the laundry room. He was left behind when we moved. Ryan informed me this morning the renters have relocated him again. He now resides over the stove in the kitchen. Nice and warm, albeit greasy.

To say Americans love sports is an understatement. I wonder sometimes if their love of competitive sports accounts for their competitive nature or if it is the other way around? Either way, it pales in comparison to their love of sports statistics, most of which involve Brett Favre these days. The result of a very long career.

I must admit I love to watch the game, too. (So does Lola. She walks up to the television and tells them off if they're not playing well. I think. I don't understand her but she sounds like she means it. Hand gestures and all.) I understand the basic rules and that helps a lot.

And it's fun to root for a team. I miss watching the speed skating championships in the winter and cheering on the Dutch. Even with Americans in the competition, there is just no interest here. It's not broadcasted on any of the dozens of sports channels. The only occasion I had to root for the Dutch was during last year's European Soccer Championship. Which I did, once I got into the habit of watching early in the morning.

Sunday before last was Super Bowl Sunday. No Packers though, they did not make the play-offs. (But Bruce Springsteen was there for half-time entertainment! I was happy.) The last game of the season was played by the Pittsburgh Steelers and the Arizona Cardinals. With Ryan's parents trading in Wisconsin for Arizona during the winter months, we adopted the Cardinals.

The Steelers won. They are now the Champions of the WORLD. Modesty is a vastly overrated virtue (JKG).

In Sickness And In Health

My child has the sniffles. I picked her up at daycare last Thursday with a runny nose, a sore throat, and a mild fever. Aside from the copious amounts of snot coming out of her little body, her symptoms have passed. Straight onto my husband. Now he suffers from a sore throat, a mild fever, and a runny nose. Between the two of them, they have gone through four large boxes of Kleenex with Lotion in four days. The occasional complaint about his aching body notwithstanding, Ryan is dealing with it pretty well. For a guy.

Lola has been very good about it too. Until this morning. I understand me attacking her nose with a baby wipe to get the crusty bits off, was not pleasant. But every time I wiped her nose, she would have a meltdown. When I ran outside for a minute to get some firewood and wouldn't take her with me, she had a meltdown. When I turned my back to do the dishes (no small feat in the barn, I tell you), she had a meltdown. Mommy was about to have a meltdown of her own. All I wanted to do this morning was get the dishes done and start dinner before I went to work.

I finally gave up. I told Lola, in English for some reason, I had had enough and I was taking her to Carla. I would drop her off, return home and do my darn dishes in peace and quiet! When we got to Carla's house, she was happy again. Inside she took off her boots and her socks and walked up to Carla with her face tilted, inviting her to wipe her nose. After Carla had cleaned it, Lola said: "All done!" No protesting, no crying. I could not believe my eyes. The Big Faker! I told her so, too. Then I bent down to give her a kiss and say good-bye. Do you know what she said to me?

"Peace."

She gets that from her dad.

Mr Positive

Last night, right before we went to bed, Ryan was looking around in the barn. When I asked him what he was doing, he said he was looking at the wall, at the structure of the barn. I get that. I like to look at the structure too. It will be a shame almost to cover it up eventually.

I especially like the ceiling. The beams, the cross beams, and the studs that hold it in place. The only thing I am not too sure of, aesthetically speaking, is the ceiling boards. They say 'This Side Down' on them. Quite clearly. When I mentioned this to Ryan, he replied: "At least people will know we got it right. It would be so much worse if they said 'This side up'..."

The Truth And Nothing But...

When I embarked on my Olympic Adventure, I expected something different. I cannot tell you what exactly but certainly not the situation I currently find myself in. The thing is, we’re broke. Not a little broke, no, Broke with a capital B. I guess Ryan and I felt that after having survived the first year of our life together – with a whirlwind romance, an international wedding, immigration, and a baby – we needed a new challenge.

With me not being able to find a job, our financial situation was not great to begin with. Then Ryan was offered a wonderful job with Siemens Building Technologies and things finally seemed to be going our way, the operative word being ‘seemed’. In this country privacy is a hollow phrase and insurance companies rule the world. On his last day with Comcast while he was briefing his replacement, Ryan received a phone call from Siemens HR in Chicago, telling him there was a problem with his driving record and he was deemed unemployable. “You’ll understand we have to withdraw our offer. Have a nice day”. Seriously, that’s what they said.

As it turns out, two and a half years ago, Ryan was late paying a speeding ticket. They are very straightforward about that sort of thing here; you don’t pay your ticket, they suspend your driver’s license until you do. He has long since paid his ticket but not until three years have passed, is an insurance company willing to insure an employee with a suspended license on his record. Or so Siemens claims. The credit-scoring type points system they use for the hiring of new employees tells Siemens Ryan is unemployable and if the computer says so…

Do I sound bitter? Perhaps a little bit. Where I come from, driving records are not available to employers. Being four weeks late paying a ticket results in a fine, not unemployment. We pulled out everything we had trying to persuade Siemens to put people ahead of policy but to no avail. Policy is policy! And they were so happy to have him on board. We’re talking 10,000 dollar signing bonus, company car, the works.

So, one moment you’re trying to buy more property, the next moment you’re bending over backwards trying to keep the one you have. Since that glorious day in June we have made a few interesting decisions that so far are not really working out too well. Underestimating the difficulty he would encounter finding another job, Ryan pursued his dream. He built a barn in our backyard. He has put everything into it; blood, sweat, tears, and quite a bit of money. We wanted it as a guesthouse at first, or perhaps a rental, but we quickly decided we were going to live in it ourselves and rent out the house.

And that’s what we have been doing since December of last year. Unfortunately, we ran out of money before it was finished. We have no running water (unless you consider a garden hose running from the well running water), no plumbing (we highly recommend Cabela’s Luggable Loo), no downstairs windows (not installed anyway), no insulation, and no stairs. There are a few other things not yet ready but you get the picture, I’m sure. Basically, we’re camping with all our stuff. We try to laugh at ourselves and our situation and not give in to self pity too much. And most of the time we pull it off.


On a positive note: the chimney is fixed and the barn is warm and cozy again. Of course, when we moved back into the barn, the storm had knocked the power out. I kid you not. Life is an adventure indeed!

Daddy's Girl

It was not exactly love at first sight for Ryan and Lola. This father - daughter relationship needed a little time to develop. Both the experts and amateurs assure us this is quite normal. More often than not, squirming and screaming babies do not render men weak in the knees. Now Ryan and I will never agree on just how much Lola cried (not that much) but we do share the opinion that she was - and is - loud. We never had to use a baby monitor. But Lola getting older and the two of them hanging out a lot this summer has greatly improved their relationship. That, and they both like to wrestle.

Interestingly enough, she listens much better to Ryan than to me. She can whine and fuss when we are alone but when she's with Ryan, she is much more pleasant. She'll be playing and having fun until I enter the room - then it's 'Dee, dee, dee!' (she is saying the Dutch word for 'that' but spelled properly it looks like 'die' and I don't want to give the impression she's evil), pointing at whatever it is she wants. And she just won't stop until either Ryan says something or I raise my voice.

Ryan is not so secretively rather proud of this. I am a little confused. Why is this? It's like she saves it all for me. Is it a compliment in disguise, do I baby her too much, is it because I usually feed her? She's always pointing at food. Do I not feed her enough? She's growing well and still at the top of the charts according to her pediatrician.

Carla tells me Dylan is the same. He'll be happy as a clam until his mother comes in, then the fussing starts. This does not comfort me. Lola is not yet two, Dylan is four years old. I am hoping this is a phase that will pass. But two and a half years seems a bit long for a phase.

Fortunately there are experts that write books about this sort of thing to help reduce the constant second-guessing that comes with motherhood. I am currently reading The Happiest Toddler on the Block. I like it so far and its predecessor The Happiest Baby on the Block made sense to me. And of course I have Ryan. Between the two of us we will tackle this. In his case, literally.

If It Ain't Broke...

There is a piece of our chimney pipe that needs replacing. The chimney works just fine but it's crooked and chimneys should be straight, both for technical and aesthetic reasons. In order to do that, we need to let the fire in the wood stove go out completely. However, it's cold in Olympia at the moment and the wood stove is our only source of heat, burning twenty four hours a day. But yesterday morning when we got up, the stove had gone out and we decided to seize the moment.

Now unless we really know what we're doing, Ryan and I should not do manual labor together, it hardly ever goes well. And with our stress levels the way they are, now is an even worse time. But the Dutch IRS had finally seen the light and deposited my 2006 tax return in my account and we were feeling optimistic. So we grabbed the replacement piece, climbed the ladder and started pulling on the chimney pipe.

It did not go well. What started out as a chill Saturday morning ended as a chilly Saturday morning with temperatures and temperaments just above freezing. There was yelling involved (both of us), throwing of wood (by me), trashing of uncooperative chimney pieces (Ryan), tears (me again), talk of dolphins (Ryan - long story).

Unfortunately, replacement pieces cannot be bought at stores but have to be purchased online. There is shipping time involved. It will take up to a week to fix the chimney. And all that time we cannot use the stove. Our living room is quickly becoming a frozen tundra.

So, after blowing off some steam at the gym and defrosting in their hot tub, we bought a bottle of champagne, packed a bag, and moved into Shelly's house. She's still in Hawaii. Her cat Bubba was excited about having company until he realized we brought our cat Sandman. Bubba has been glaring and growling at him all night but Sandman is pretending not to notice and looks all innocent while he walks around the house as if it's his. He is very comfortable here. I am sure that will change as soon as he realizes he cannot go outside but has to use the litter box...